哥哥辛苦了

My poor dearest Boyboy is having a tough time transiting to his role of "Gorgor". 

These days he often gets into trouble for pinching or choking Didi. I've spoken to him as well as observed him.

The pinching is because he wants to touch Didi but doesn't know what else to do. Choking is often cos he wants to hug Didi but does it wrongly. 

Good moments

I've tried to teach him how, but his pride gets in the way and he refuses to learn or even acknowledge that he needs to *big sigh*

Of course, there is the usual hitting and pushing. It's because he can't control his anger and rashness. He is often punished with time-out or caning. But I am thinking of moving away from that.

After all I myself am (very) guilty of grabbing him too hard or smacking him in a fit of anger. So why have double standards for him?

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All along Hubby and I know the boy is the ＂吃软不吃硬＂ type. But we had internal conflict trying to align the need to set clear guidelines.

If we always use the soft approach and soothe him, will it lead to him taking advantage of us in future? How can we not mete out any punishment when he commits an atrocious act like intentionally pushing Didi to the ground?

Our Incredible Hulk

But I'm starting to think we've got this parenting thing all wrong. It's really hard on ourselves to always be serious, authoritarian and top-down, expecting a 4 year-old kid to follow our instructions to a tee.

As the above Internet meme goes, parenting is the act of out-manipulating your kid. Perhaps that will be more 'fun' for us, and less oppressive and suppressive for the little one.

This link, I feel, offers great suggestions for a start: http://m.parenting.com/entry/view/id/20932

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Our 'hard' discipline style is also getting impossible to implement cos the boy has regressed!!!!

I had read that sometimes children regress to baby behaviour when challenged w a new sibling. It's part of fighting for attention.

Didi is going to 16 months soon and that had not happened, so I happily concluded it would not. Alamak!

Beginning last Thursday, Gorgor now runs and screams like Didi. He throws his toys and crawls around on the floor and sofa, climbing everywhere. He prefers to "eh eh" and point, rather than speak w words. 

Mirroring action

How irritating! Gorgor's 'validation' of Didi's behaviour only reinforces the negative ones like throwing stuff and screaming. They play very crazily especially before bedtime, which is no good!

I've told him that we love him for who he is and that he is more advanced than Didi, so no need to copy him. But I guess he still believes that's why we adore Didi.

Oh! And he wants to be carried everywhere like Didi!!! Ouch, our backs...

Time for a new war plan!